SWEET MARRIAGE - 15 (LOVE YOUR SPOUSE EVEN WHEN THEY DON'T DESERVE TO BE LOVED)

“Love bears all things…endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7

Recently I was reading an article written in facebook. Actually a guy wrote that article about his wife which really touched my heart.

He was engaged to a very beautiful girl and after his engagement, he dreamt a lot about his future with that girl. Unfortunately days before his marriage, the girl went away with another guy whom she loved. He could not bear that sorrow. As his parents insisted him to marry a relative girl on the same day, he married her without any interest upon her.

As she was physically fat compared to the other girl, he could not love her at all. He hated her to the core from the first day of their marriage. He won’t speak to her for a minute. She used to wake up early, cook, wash his clothes and does all the household stuff. Then in the afternoon she will go to her office for work. When she returns back late night he will be slept.

Though she could not get the love of her husband, she loved him with so much patience. One day his mother spoke very rudely to her as she was barren. She knew the reason for that but yet she never spoke a word against anyone but left their house politely.

He was also happy as his wife left their home. But one day when he was reading certain poetry that she had written for him and kept on the cupboard, his heart melt. He could able to understand the love of his wife and he felt that he too missed her badly.

So he went to her mother-in-law’s house thinking his wife would have went there after his mother spoke badly about her. He prepared to defend himself if someone in his mother-in-law’s house asks anything about the fight. But when he went there he understood that his wife never went there. Then when he searched for her, he found that she was staying as a paying guest in a women’s hostel for two weeks without informing anything to her parents about the afflictions that she was facing in her husband’s house.

He brought her home and fell down at her feet begging for her forgiveness. She immediately forgave him and hugged him. He ends that long article concluding that they were so happy now and she is carrying their twin babies.

Many who have commented on that article appreciated his wife for being so patient and endured all afflictions with love.

I was wondering how a girl could love her husband like that when he hated her to the core! She loved her husband so much that she patiently endured all afflictions. She loved him so truly even when he was not worthy to deserve her love.

Because she endured the afflictions, today her family is built and they were living happily.

Love bears all things and endures all things. Love your spouse without any expectations. They might not deserve your love. But love them anyway. Do not run away from your marriage relationship. One day God will answer your tears and you will definitely have a happy blessed life. 

SWEET MARRIAGE - 14 (DO NOT LEAVE YOUR SPOUSE AND DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM YOUR MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP)

“How much better to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.” – Proverbs 16:16

One of my uncle, when he was young, he got into bad habits and got addicted to it. Soon he got married. His wife (my aunt) was one of the best women I had ever met. My uncle used to beat my aunt a lot but yet she had never raised her voice against him. She just endured all the hardships with so much patience. Later they got two sons but my uncle used to humiliate her at all times. Often I feel so pity for her situation. Her parents knew what she was going through and so they hated my uncle a lot.

Few months before my uncle got terribly ill. When they went to a doctor, they came to know that his liver was damaged because of excessive liquor usage. His condition grew worse and so the doctors told that the only way for him to survive is to undergo liver transplant. 

They tried to get a donor for him but could not find one. At last the doctors found that my aunt’s liver was the perfect match for my uncle. So they told her that her husband will live if she donates part of her liver.

As soon as this information reached my aunt’s parents, they came to her so furiously and said, “It’s better that he dies so that you can live peacefully in this world. So do not say yes to the operation.” 

As I said before my uncle has great love for his wife but yet he had never shown her that. He always love to be the dominant decision maker in everything. It’s true that he had not treated my aunt well. 

But then when all her relations advised her not to donate her liver to her husband, she prayed and said yes to the operation. Everyone around her was so angry at her but she went through the painful process of operation with so much patience and calm for her husband who was not that much loving to her. By God’s grace both of them were alive now and they are living together in peace. 

What if my aunt heeded to the counsel of her parents and said no to the operation? If she had said no, then by this time my uncle would not be alive. But yet she showed love and compassion to her husband though he is not worthy of it. Now both of them were together and she was happy that her husband is alive. She never ran away when her husband was in distress. That's the important thing we have to understand. She stayed with him and faced the situation along with him and also helped him.

You can very easily love your spouse who is so loving to you and who is so good at everything. But today I just want to place a question before you. Can you love your spouse with her/his weakness though you feel right now that he/she is unworthy of your love?

God wants you to love your spouse at any cost. Bible says in Matthew 19:6, “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

It was God who has united you and He wants you to stay together at all situations. If your spouse has any weakness, do pray for them sincerely. God will answer your prayers. But do not decide to go in separate ways. It is not God’s will or purpose in your life that you have to go away from your spouse. God wants you to raise a generation for His glory. So love your spouse and stay united.

SWEET MARRIAGE - 13 (BEAR THE WEAKNESS OF YOUR SPOUSE AND CARE FOR HIM/HER)

“We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak, and not to please ourselves.” – Romans 15:1

Few days back I was waiting at an airport to receive a guest. I bought a ticket and went into the departure area. There was not much crowd there. When the flight arrived, everyone came to the baggage belt and waited for their bags. A gentleman took his baggage and came to sit in the place where I was standing. His wife waited for another bag and once she came with the bag, her husband stood up and walked towards her with his bag.  

As both were walking, his wife suddenly stopped and looked at his baggage and then looked at his face with a smile and asked, “Where is your laptop bag?” He remembered about his bag only when she had asked about it and he ran towards the place where he was sitting moments before. As there was not much crowd, the laptop was safe in the bag and he took it and came towards her. 

I could understand from both of their expressions that he does forget things often like what happened on that day and so I was waiting eagerly for the reaction of his wife once he return back to her after taking his laptop bag.

She never looked at him angrily or in a different way. She simply smiled as he told his own reason for his carelessness. She accepted it and they both walked out happily without any argument or words that might hurt each other. 

My dear young friend, even in your marriage life, your spouse might be careless or weak in certain areas or things. He / She might have a tendency to forget certain things and because of that many valuable things might have got lost. 

How we react to their weakness is very important? The woman I saw in the airport never showed any kind of disappointment or disapproval. She accepted the way and she spoke very politely to him. Only I was standing there and she didn’t react in disrespectful way to her husband. Because of her smile and politeness, they left out of the airport so happily. The peace and the joy between them were never disturbed. 

God wants us who were strong ought to bear the failings of the weakness of our spouse. Do not show your frustration and anger upon your spouse in public when they did something wrong. Do not react madly to their mistakes. Try to understand the weakness of your spouse and support and encourage him/her to do better. Do not put him/her down in front of somebody. If you want to convey something to your spouse about his/her weakness, speak to him/her politely and show that you care for him/her. 

Do not speak to him/her in authoritative tone in such situations. That may lead to some problems and your peace will get affected. Accept the weakness of your spouse, love and respect them. Do not hurt them by your disrespectful words or behaviour. Then God’s peace and joy will overflow in your life. You will stay united.

SWEET MARRIAGE - 12 (UNDERSTAND AND HONOR YOUR SPOUSE)

“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife...” – 1 Peter 3:7

My father in law usually leads worship in a church and he also plays music in keyboard. Few years back when I got married and came to know this, I always wanted to learn music from him. Years passed but I could not learn from him as he stays in another city.

Few months back he came to the city where I was staying and so one day he had spent some time in teaching me the basics of keyboard. He was teaching me the basic notes and I could not understand that much. Even after spending nearly an hour on learning I could not play it in an exact way. 

As I was struggling my wife came inside that room and she said that she will play. I thought she is making fun. But then she came near to me and with one hand she beautifully played the notes. I was surprised. In our 4 years of marriage life, I had no knowledge about the talents she had. She had never showcased her talents to me and I had never tried to know about her hidden talents. 

Not only in music but in so many other ways she is far better than me. I struggle to memorize Bible verse whereas she recites any Bible verse with so much ease. By God’s grace I had preached in various places but I always struggle to remember the verse. My wife had never preached in any place but yet she could remember so many Bible verses. 

My wife was so spiritual than me in all aspects but yet she had never failed to appreciate the articles I write and the messages I share. She could understand me very well than the way I understood her and she had honoured me which I had failed to do. 

In recent days God taught me how I should appreciate my wife for the talents she had and He also put in my heart that I should try to understand her more.

I always felt happy when my wife appreciated me. I know she will be happy if I also understand her and appreciate her for the little things she does for me. That will increase the love between us which will be good for our marriage life. 

My dear young friends, God wants us to dwell with our spouse with understanding and we should honor and love each other. 

You might feel like your spouse is not so talented. That actually means you had not understood your spouse completely. Spend some quality time to understand your spouse and appreciate the little things your spouse does. God has given your spouse to you for a purpose and you have to honor your spouse for what they do in your life and for being with you at all times. Then your marriage life will be blessed and you will live in peace.

RELATION & RELATIONSHIPS - 16 / SWEET MARRIAGE - 11 (DO NOT SHARE YOUR LOVED ONES PROBLEMS AND SECRET WITH ANYONE)

“Do not trust in a friend; Do not put your confidence in a companion; Guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your bosom. For son dishonors father, Daughter rises against her mother, Daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; A man's enemies are the men of his own household. Therefore I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; My God will hear me." - Micah 7:5-7 

In Genesis chapter 2 and 3, we read that God formed Adam and Eve and placed them in the Garden of Eden. He commanded them not to eat the fruits of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. It was told to Adam and he might have told to Eve. The conversation and the whole matter should be kept within the family that is between God, Adam and Eve.

But one day Eve took that matter and discussed with the serpent to whom she should not have shared the matter. That led to her downfall in turn brought great trouble to their relationship with God.

I have two elder brothers and our parents tried their best to raise us in Godly way. My mother was so strict and prayerful but yet she struggled a lot with the problems created by us.

During our childhood we created lot of problems in our school, neighbourhood. When we entered the teen age we struggled a lot with temptations and at times we failed to live holy and spiritual. At times our life was a total mess.

But the best part is my mother never shared our family matters with her parents, sisters and brothers. She had never spoken about our sins, wrong doings to any one of our relatives or even to any one of our Spiritual elders. Because she had never wanted to put us down in front of anyone. So she always kept our family matters within our own family and she had never allowed my father to scold us in public and share matters with others.

She made it a point to take our problems and matters only to God in prayer. Whenever we created a problem or we struggled with sins, she cried to God alone. Because of her prayers today God has changed us, blessed us and using us for His purpose.

Because of her character no one from our relatives or from our parents’ family could create a problem in our family as they never knew what was actually going in our family.

My dear young friends, you have to learn to keep your relationship matters within your relationship. You should not share the words or secrets or failures or physical problems or anything of your loved ones with others.

You might be married. If you have a problem in your marriage life or any other matters just take it to Jesus Christ in prayer. God will speak through Holy Spirit and lead you in right way. Do not run even to your own brother or sisters and tell them about the bad behaviour or weakness or character of your spouse. If you do so it will destroy your own reputation and the entire relationship.

Do not give way to devil to attack your family life by sharing the personal matters with someone outside your marriage relationship. Your marriage relationship includes God, you and your spouse.

If any of your loved ones are sick, take that matter to God and pray. If anyone is weak Spiritually take them and their weakness to God in prayer. Whatever that troubles you in your relationship with your spouse or loved ones, take it to the Lord. He will hear your prayers and will save you from all kinds of evil.

Proverbs 25:9-10 says “... And do not disclose the secret to another; Lest he who hears it expose your shame, And your reputation be ruined."

Share all your problems, worries, trials and secrets of your marriage life or any relationship with God alone and stay blessed. You will live in peace and joy.