Having an affair is not even on your radar. Never gonna
happen. You love your spouse and you'd never be unfaithful to her or him.
However, you may be unaware of other ways you are being unfaithful. If these
actions continue, you may find yourself on the slippery slope that leads to
that never-intended affair and a sorrow you never wanted in your life.
Unfaithfulness usually creeps in through the back door,
disguising itself as harmless fun or innocent behavior. If you want your
marriage to endure and be filled with happiness you may need to check this list
to see if you have fallen prey to any of these unfaithful behaviors.
1. Flirting
Having a little playful fun at the office with a co-worker
can't be too bad, you may rationalize. After all, flirting is fun. Avoid it
like the plague. It's dangerous. If someone flirts with you, ignore it. What
falls into the category of flirting? Here's one explanation of what
flirting is. "[It] usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that
suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the
parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which
generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest. This may be
accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony... Body language
can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, etc."
Married people should never engage in this type of behavior
with anyone other than their spouse. It is a full-on form of unfaithfulness
that leads to no good. The one you're flirting with may take it as an
invitation and pursue a relationship you never intended.
2. Confiding in the opposite gender
When you pour out your troubles to someone of the opposite
gender you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It may seem harmless.
After all, you just needed a shoulder to cry on. If you've got a problem, talk
about it with your spouse. That's your best-ever shoulder to cry on. If that's
not working for you, try a trusted relative, clergyman, or therapist. Not
someone who may consider this an invitation for intimacy. Even if it doesn't
start that way, too often it ends that way. It's a form of unfaithfulness.
3. Spending time alone with someone else
What appears to be an innocent lunch out with someone of
the opposite sex or stopping by for a chat at that someone's home without your
spouse is definitely in the category of unfaithful behavior. You or the other
person may say, "Hey, we're both adults. Nothing's going to happen."
Well, things do happen. It's not appropriate. Go home and spend that time with
your spouse.
4. Talking negatively about your mate
When you are a true friend to someone you never say bad
things about them to others. Your mate is your best friend and is the last
person you should ever talk about negatively. If you have a beef with your
honey, talk it out with him or her. Let your conversations with others focus on
the good things about your spouse. That's being faithful. The exception here is
abuse. If abuse is happening it needs to be reported to a trusted friend,
counselor, and the police. You must keep yourself safe.
5. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite
sex
If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start
out that way, but it definitely won't end that way. Some have engaged in what
they considered innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from high
school or college days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and
before you know it, your marriage is in jeopardy. Don't do it. It will only end
in sorrow and heartbreak for your family.
6. Dressing to attract the attention of someone other than
your spouse
If you're dressing up to look good for someone else, you
need to reexamine your motives. Trying to attract someone else by wearing a
sexy looking outfit is one more way to jump into unfaithful waters.
7. Writing personal intimate notes or letters to someone
else
If you're writing a letter of condolence or
congratulations, or other good wishes, let it be from both you and your spouse.
Then there will be no misunderstanding about your intentions.
8. Not being a willing sexual partner with your spouse
Being faithful to your spouse means giving yourself over to
him or her to enjoy the intimate side of your marriage. To withhold sexual
intimacy from your spouse if not doing your part in keeping your marriage
strong and fulfilling. It creates sorrow and even suspicion. Being a faithful
spouse means doing your part to make it a beautiful relationship in all
aspects.
9. Putting your parents before your spouse
Your spouse must always be the number one person in your
life. If something wonderful happens to you, like a promotion, a confirmation
of a pregnancy, or any other good news, you may be tempted to immediately call
a parent to share in the joy. Resist. Let your spouse be the first to know your
good news. Then share it with others.
10. Putting your children before your spouse
Kids matter. They are very important people in your life,
but not more important than your spouse. If you knock your spouse off the top
of your priority list you are not showing total fidelity to him or her. Your
mate must come first. Not only does it cement your marriage and make it
stronger, it gives your children the best security blanket they will ever have.
Check yourself on these points and make sure you are being
100 percent faithful to your spouse. By doing this you will create a genuinely
happy and fulfilling marriage
No comments:
Post a Comment