“If I say, ‘My foot slips,’ Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up. In the multitude
of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.” – Psalms 94:18, 19.
Once I completed my
B.Tech degree in the year 2005, I thought I will join PG degree in the same
government college where I completed my B.Tech degree. I prayed and wrote the
entrance examination to join PG engineering degree. I failed in that entrance
exam. So my parents prayed and decided to put me in a private engineering university.
It was a Christian
university and so I was very happy to join there. When I joined there I was so
surprised to see a large number of students gathering in an auditorium for Prayer
assembly. As I studied there I saw so many people preaching God’s word with
authority.
Slowly I got a desire
to stand in big auditoriums to preach God’s word. Days passed by. My desire to
preach God’s word in big auditoriums increased a lot. There were times I used
to go to any one of those auditorium for few functions.
When I go there, I
used to stand in front of the podium and imagine that I was standing and
preaching in front of a packed house. I have done that for several times. Then
as God started to use me for His glory in small ways, I thought my desire will
get fulfilled very soon.
But at one instant I
left God and fell in sin. I was away from God for few years and when I
recognized that my heart was filled with guilt. God gave His grace to me and
removed the guilt from my heart. Again the path of God’s will seemed so
difficult for me. It took few more years to get back to God’s will.
Likewise I wasted so
many years and God was so patient with me throughout those years. He gave me
His grace and also the lost blessings. When God started to use me again in few
village churches and in a prayer centre, I thought God will open a way for me
to speak in the auditorium also.
But it never happened.
Though I know I was the reason for not getting an opportunity to speak in those
auditoriums, I had a great longing in my heart to speak there. I prayed several
times to God to open the closed doors and give me an opportunity to share His
word.
I wanted everything to
happen so fast. But God was so patient. I thought I will never get an
opportunity to preach in auditoriums. When those thoughts came into my mind it
had hurt me a lot because that was my desire and longing for so many years.
God had different
plans. Recently Jesus Christ made me to stand and preach in a packed auditorium.
I know for sure that I am not worthy at all. I am not a great preacher but
Jesus Christ made it possible through His grace. He started to fulfil my desire
and longing that I had carried in my heart for so many years and I believe that
He will use me for His glory in the coming days also.
I looked back at my past and felt
sad but Jesus Christ had never looked back at my past. My dear young friends,
Jesus Christ always look at the plan that He has for you and not your past
days.
As I look back, from the bottom of
my heart I thank God for fulfilling my heart’s desire and longing.
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