“For in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.” – Isaiah 25:1
Before I continue with my story of how I got married, I want to give a humble suggestion for those who are looking forward to meeting their life partner. Let me be clear my friends. If we want to know God’s approval or concern about a person whom we like when we are just eighteen or still studying it won't work. He will either remain silent or say 'No' because the Bible says, there is a time for everything. A time for us to grow, a time to build ourselves, a time to prepare, and a time to settle down in life. However, that doesn't stop us from praying for our future life partner even when we are very young. Keep praying from your youth with fasting and at the right time, He will reveal His heart to you and will show you whom He has chosen for you.
I got married to my husband in 2015 in Germany after going through a courtship period of two years and an intense time of counseling sessions with our pastor. Yes, I got confirmation from God, got the blessings of my parents, and yet a few days before the marriage, I was asking myself whether I have heard God properly and made the right choice in my life. Oh! Come on, how could I be so wavering with my thoughts. You see once I made a mistake in the past, it still carried fear in my heart. But God’s voice came so strong to me, “Never doubt your foundation." He told me very clearly that if I am going to doubt the foundation of my marriage and let the fear, situations, and circumstances intimidate me, then He would not be able to build anything on that foundation. He asked me to take Him as the strongest Foundation I can ever find.
With my little experience of five
years in marriage, I could say one thing, at one point in time we will all face
this question of ‘Have I married the right person?’ Things that happen in the
family can make us think like this; especially we women become very sensitive
and emotional at our weakest point. Nevertheless, the answer lies in the
foundation on which you have started your life. Jesus is your foundation and He
bears and protects what is built on Him.
He will never let the devourer destroy His masterpiece. So whenever such a question arises, immediately run back to Him and shut your ears to the lies of the enemy. The Lord will carry you through. Yes, He has carried us through thus far in all our ups and downs. There are so many incidents where the Holy Spirit corrected me during my marriage journey. I would like to share one of them with you.
It was a cold, rainy day and I left my jacket and phone at home while going to work. In the evening, my husband needs to pick me up from the railway station to bring me home as our house was on a hilltop. Before leaving work, I called him from the office phone to enquire when he would leave from his office so that I can take the train accordingly and both of us can reach the railway station at the same time. After I reached, I waited in the usual place for my husband to come and pick me up in the car. I waited and waited and he didn't turn up. It was getting colder and darker and I started to shiver. Initially, I was worried for his safety but then when time passed by, I started to be upset with him for not showing up on time. I couldn't wait any longer as chillness pinched my bones and walked home climbing the steep hill.
While walking, I started to accuse him more and more for his delay. By the time I almost reached up, I was so angry at him and wanted to show it out on him when he reaches home. All the while, the still small voice of God was telling me that I am not right in accusing him for no mistake of his. Firstly, it is my mistake that I left my phone at home and secondly it could be that he is stuck in a traffic jam and has no means to contact me. Nevertheless, I didn’t want to listen to God’s voice as I had already listened to the lie of the enemy and had even nurtured it with anger and bitterness. When I was about to open the door of my house, the Holy Spirit rebuked me. He said, "Shalina, if you are going to enter the house with this bitterness, I will not come inside with you. You need to go alone." I don't remember how long I stood outside arguing with the Holy Spirit but finally I gave in as I didn't want to go home alone without Him. That day God helped me to understand how a small misunderstanding can become a poisonous bitterness in the soul if we let it grow in our hearts. He taught me to uproot such thoughts the moment they spring up otherwise, once fueled, they will grow into a big tree that is very difficult to remove without causing pain and heartaches.
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