“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
It was one of my deepest desires to pursue higher studies abroad. Though God gave me a job in TCS through campus interview and I wrote my last Bachelor degree exam with such excitement that this will be the last exam of my life, His plans were different, a unique plan which He has devised even before He laid the foundations of the world. Instead of getting my Transfer Certificate for my job process, I came out of the Student's office with an application form for a Master's degree in the same University. Even now, I couldn't quite remember or understand what got into my mind at that time. So, again I continued my student life in the very field from which I ran away once.
Through the International Association for the Exchange of Students for Technical Experience (IAESTE), I got an opportunity to apply for an internship in one of the top five universities in Germany. Applications were sent and an online interview date was scheduled. The time came and I realized that all the gold medals I got during my Bachelor's degree were nothing. It was like the interviewers speaking idioms and phrases and I am explaining to them in alphabets. I knew right at that moment that if I get through this then it has to be a miracle. I was restless. I was pacing outside my hostel room. I opened my bible and started reading John 6. The chapter begins with the miracle of Jesus feeding 5000 men with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes. Verse 7 says, Philip answered Him (Jesus), “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite.”
I closed my Bible and started crying unto God. Lord, all my five years of studies won’t even be of little worth when compared to the knowledge and intelligence of the people who interviewed me. If they reject me, what will I do with all those desires in my heart? Even if they accept me, what am I going to do there, for I will shame myself in front of them? For a prayer like this, how do you expect God to answer? I don’t want to be rejected and I don’t know what to do if I get accepted. No one can understand our God’s patience. He gently asked me to continue reading John Chapter 6. He promised me, “If only you surrender your five years of studies with all its crowns and medals to Me, I will do something in your life that you will even have leftovers”. Reluctantly, I gave it all to Him, and then His great peace ruled my heart and I knew that I need to get ready to go to Germany for my internship.
Hoop … hoop… began my flight to Germany with anxieties of not knowing what to expect. On the day of my arrival, I was shown my room, the facilities available, and the nearby supermarkets. With so much enthusiasm to explore the surroundings, I took my shopping list and cycled to the nearby supermarket. You won't believe me, even with my little knowledge in cooking I couldn't differentiate salt from sugar because every label was in German and I know not even a single word in German. I thought I would manage in Germany with my English. Again, God humbled me and made me depend on Him once more.
It was my first day at Karlsruhe Institute of Technology. Google maps showed me a path, which went through a small forest. I was not so confident to walk alone. I asked the One who sent me to Germany, “Lord, how am I going to live in this unknown country among unknown people?” He replied, “Shalina, Yes! You are living in an unknown country but with the known God." How true it is! I have forgotten that the God who spreads the blue skies in India is the same One who paints the skies in Germany too!
If faith has to be explained then I would say it is the foundation upon which our lives are built. It is the rock upon which we stand. This unshakable rock is none other than Christ Himself. He is the Rock of ages. God started to build my faith during my internship. Away from home with no one to care, He taught me to depend on Him completely. His lessons were always interesting and at the same time demanding. It was one such time when He taught me what it is to laugh with tears flowing down my cheeks. Due to some administrative issues, my salary was delayed for two months. I managed with the little money my parents gave and the food items I took from home for the first two months. The third month dawned with the last soup sachet in my pantry and not even a single cent in my pocket. It happened to be a Friday and my supervisor assured me that my salary would have already been credited to my bank account. That evening I went to the bank with so much joy and a long shopping list. I thought I didn’t hear well when the cashier said that the salary has not been credited. But that was the reality. I walked back home with tears flowing down my cheeks. On one side I was disappointed and on the other side, I wondered what I was going to eat for the next two days as Saturdays and Sundays are holidays in Germany and I cannot ask the help of my supervisor until Monday. Out of nowhere came this song into my head, “The joy that I have; Jesus gave it to me. The world didn’t give it and the world can’t take it away”. Right in the middle of the street, God confronted me on my weakness. “Is your faith based on what you see or is it on Me? Will you be able to say like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, ‘Even if our God whom we serve does not deliver us, we will still serve Him only’?” That was a very difficult question for me to answer.
With
the little strength I had, I started to sing the song again and again till I
truly felt His joy in my soul. I ate my last soup for dinner and slept.
Saturday morning, I didn't want to get up for the fear of not having anything
to eat. It was almost 1 p.m.; I was still lying in bed wide-awake contemplating
on what to do. Finally, I got up and looked around my room to see whether I can
find anything. There were few empty bottles. I exchanged them for four buns
with which I managed for the rest of the weekend. From this incident, should I
say that God abandoned me? That He didn’t keep His promise? That He put me to
shame despite my faith in Him? No, not at all. Though it seemed like He has
forsaken me and all my faith has been shattered, He was in fact laying
carefully the foundation of my life, the very element of faith. Faith, that
will dare to trust even when everything happens right opposite to what the Lord
has actually promised and that will say even if He won’t deliver me still I
will serve Him.
How can I ever say I am strong until I have been put to test and proved to be enduring? My faith was put to test. Just a few weeks before my final presentation, the project I did for five months got collapsed due to some software update. With nowhere to turn, I looked up unto His face for help. Like it is said in Isaiah, He will leave no stone unturned to reach to us. He gave me the strength and wisdom to redo everything from scratch again and to finish my report and presentation on time. Yes, I am so proud to serve an awesome God before Whom even time bows.
One week before my departure to India, I happened to meet a special person. He is one of the colleagues of my supervisor. Will this special person continue to remain special to me or am I going to mess up my life once again?
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