You see, we are all called to run a race for Jesus, and repentance is the starting line of that race. It’s futile to try to run the race if you never made it to the starting line to begin with! This is the problem with many believers today. They are trying to follow the Lord, but they have never truly repented and surrendered their lives to Jesus Christ. The result of the false gospel so prevalent today can be seen in churches full of half-hearted Christians whose lives are still centered on selfishness and the principles of the world. Jesus came to bring the kingdom of God to the earth. He came to completely transform individuals, families and nations from the inside out – a radical revolution that would change the world through obedient, blood-bought servants who are willing to bow their knee and say, “Lord, after all You have done for me, what would You have me do for You?” – WRITTEN BY BROTHER YUN

Friday, April 11, 2014


I tried to kill Bob. I tried to kill my friend. No matter how tightly I squeezed my eyes shut, I couldn’t escape the image-my hand, my knife, the belt buckle, the broken knife and Bob’s face.

“This is crazy,” I finally mumbled… I’d dreamed of being a doctor since I was 8 years old. But how could I fulfill the dream with such a terrible temper? When angry, I went out of control and had no idea how to stop. I’d never make anything of myself if I didn’t control my temper.

Two hours passed. I felt sick to my stomach, disgusted with myself, and ashamed. “Unless I get rid of this temper,” I said aloud, “I am not going to make it. If Bob hadn’t worn that big buckle he’d probably be dead, and I’d be on my way to jail or reform school.”

Misery washed over me. My sweaty shirt stuck to my back. Sweat tricked down by armpits and my sides. I hated myself, but I couldn’t help myself, and so I hated myself even more.

From somewhere deep inside my mind came a strong impression. Pray. My mother had taught me to pray. My teachers at the religious school in Boston often told us that God would help us if we only asked Hi. For weeks, for months, I had been trying to control my temper, figuring I could handle it myself. Now, in that small hot bathroom I knew the truth. I could not handle my temper alone.

I felt as thought I could never face anyone again. How could I look my mother in the eye? Would she know? How could I ever see Bob again? How could he help but hate me?

“Lord,” I whispered, “You have to take this temper from me. If you don’t, I will never be free from it. I’ll end up doing things a lot worse than trying to stab one of my best friends.”

Already heavy into psychology (I had been reading Psychology Today for a year), I knew that temper was a personality trait… Even today some experts believe that the best we can do is accept our limitations and adjust to them.

Tears streamed between my fingers. “Lord, despite what all the experts tell me, You can change me. You can free me forever from this destructive personality trait. You have promised that if we to You and ask something in faith, that You will do it. I believe that You can change this in me.” I stood up, looking at the narrow window, still pleading for God’s help. I couldn’t go on hating myself forever for all the terrible things I’d done.

Misery engulfed me in darkness. “If you don’t do this for me, God, I have got no place else to go.” At one point I’d slipped out of the bathroom long enough to grab a Bible. Now I opened it and began to read in Proverbs. Immediately I saw a string of verses about angry people and how they get themselves into trouble. Proverbs 16:32 impressed me the most: “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (RSV)

I felt as though the verses had been written just to me, for me. The words of Proverbs condemned me, but gave me hope. After a while peace begin to fill my mind. My hands stopped shaking. The tears stopped. During those hours alone in the bathroom, something happened to me. God heard my deep cries of anguish. A feeling of lightness flowed over me and I knew a change of heart had taken place. I felt different. I was different.

And since that day, since those long hours wrestling with myself and crying to God for help, I have never had a problem with my temper.  That same afternoon I decided I would read the Bible every day. I have kept that practice as a daily habit and especially enjoy the book of Proverbs. Even now, whevever possible, I pick up my Bible and read the first thing every morning.

The miracle that took place was incredible when I stop to think about it. Some of my psychologically oriented friends insist that I still have the potential for anger. May be they are right, but I’ve lived more than twenty years since that experience, and I have never had another flare-up or even had a serious problem of needing to control my temper.

I can tolerate amazing amounts of stress and ridicule. By God’s grace, it still doesn’t require any effort to shake off unpleasant, irritating things. God has helped me to conquer my terrible temper, once and forever.

From that terrible day when I was 14 years old, my faith in God has been intensely personal and an important part of who I am. About that time I started to hum or sing a hymn that has continued to be my favourite, “Jesus is all the world to Me.” Whenever anything irritates me, that hymn dissolves my negativity. I have explained it this way to young people, “I have sunshine in my heart regardless of conditions around me.”

I am not afraid of anything as long as I think of Jesus Christ and my relationship to Him and remember that the One who created the universe can do anything. I also have evidence-my own experience- that God can do anything, because He changed me. 

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